Escapades...

"Escapades" is a dedication to my childhood friends Mad & Soda (Womb Buddies), Anup (Chaddi Buddy since Std 1), Ajju, Avi, Cheedu, Parag, Neeraj, (Crime Buddies) and some other Radha, Shabbo & Kartik (Backup Buddies) during stunts and special effects. Distance and time have separated us but our souls seem connected by the times we shared... Just a telecon could make me reminiscence the crazy times... Hope I do justice to those freaking adventures and a few serious times... Let's take a walk down OUR memory lane...

Times for some dating back to us cradling in our mothers' wombs like gifts from god
Being born a few days apart, different in appearance, natures like peas in a pod
Some jumped along with their crazy elements midway into our life's wagons
While some sauntered in casually to help us fight life's looming dragons

Books on the desk, eyes on the board, listening to the teacher writing a maths score
Waiting for the tough times to end, glancing at the playgrounds for games and more
Hey!! As rings the bell for the break, "ZZZOOOP", a soul zips past our bleary eyes
That's our dear Chaddi Buddy trying to reach home before the electric chime dies


Gone soon were the days of childish banter, days of recklessness were due to start
Statuettes of sobriety within the walls, let us out, you will see how we topple your life's cart
Semi dressed, dripping uncombed hair, dragging bags, using chalks to polish shoes in hand
Running, Scrambling over boundary walls, making our untimely entry, little short of grand


"ऊँ असतोम सद्गमय | तमसोमा ज्योतिर्गमय | मृत्योर्मा अमृतंगमया | ऊँ शान्ति शान्ति शान्तिः ||"
O' such Musical souls we were, that even this chant could make our hearts dance
"दया कर दान विद्या का हमें परमात्मा दे ना, दया कर माँ हमारी आत्मा में शुद्धता दे ना ..."
Sleepy heads, folded palms, musical morning, cool breeze were enough dose for a trance
"ऊँ सहना ववतु, सहनौ भुनक्तु, सहविर्यम् करवावहे, तेजस्विना वधीतम् अस्तु, मा विद विशावहै, ऊँ शान्ति शान्ति शान्तिः ||"
Pledge and National Anthem were next to go, with all of us standing in a staid stance
And Viola!! Here we are, rejuvenated and raring to execute our daily notorious plans


Table tennis across the teachers table with a notebook and a paper ball
Hitting it hard out of the window, invariably on Princi's head every time did it fall
Football in the school passage was fun, with Backup Buddies covering up for us few
Recess saw 13 tiffins being attacked, devoured, cleaned in 5 minutes of record time too


Climbing trees to pluck mangoes, and car roofs to get to the tamarind tree
Pockets full of aanwla supari, parathas, bunking classes, craving to break free
Notoriety galore saw us pulling tricks on all, Beware!! Here come Crime Buddy Patrols!
Chalks, paper bits aligned on fan blades, ready to shower, on teachers, poor unsuspecting souls


Fuming teacher, giggling buddies, visit to Princi's office had its own charm in a way
Lined up for explanation, in decreasing order of crime, a buddy decided to lead the way
Backup Buddies stayed behind while Womb Buddies smiled and fluttered their lashes
Crime Buddies shifted in their shoes, but brave Chaddi Buddy faced the scale thrashes


Demons of exams loomed large every quarter, leaving us all bewildered and teary eyed
A teacher teaches a single subject, but expects a single student to know the world wide
So driven were we in our aspirations, taking matters in own hands with our creations
Slips of paper were passe, Crime Buddies found stealing papers as the best of all options


Board exams were the deadliest of demons needing special attention and a detailed plan
Physics paper was worst of the lot, needing combined answering as the only option then
Getting caught never crossed our minds, what could be worse than a failure's plight
Tuition and extra classes at odd times we endured, all hard work to take our fancy's flight


Valentine's Day brought an awareness of sorts, planning a party, escaping staid old plots
Leaving home as demure lassies, changing into sexy skirts, rocking babes and vodka shots
Whistling, calling out, going for walks, laughing, chilling in the gardens in dead of the night,
Buddies, inseparable by time, forever managed to take residents' imaginations to soaring heights


Years have passed, excerpts are few, choosing our ways on life's path we've all moved along
Memories are fresh, images are are clear, bonds between us are still ever so strong
Now that we know we miss our times together, and living apart is just a matter of chance now
Virtual space is a temporary meeting ground, but meeting at base should be a choice now, somehow



Let's meet up guys... It's been eternity!! Let's reminiscence the moments, even if we can't repeat the crimes and relive times ;)... Although with technology on our side wish I could... :P

A Memoir...

"A Memoir..." is a tribute to someone who could have survived with the nurturing and care being bestowed on him, but unfortunately lost his lonely battle with time...


He sauntered into my life like a sweet loving surprise
Quite remarkable were his caring ways, the simmering love in his eyes
Loving me, wiping my tears, not letting me utter a sigh
He never failed to raise my desires to an unbridled high
Being a Friend, Lover, Protector, Saviour was his goal
Sheer beauty of our bond was its crystal clear soul
Moments of fun, frolic, love and laughter we shared
Tied us together in memories we alone reared
Secrets, fantasies, memories, timeless moments and dreams
Some couldn't swallow the charisma of our ecstatic screams
Swimming freely in concert in cool unruffled waters
We still couldn't escape the wretched conniving plotters
Resorting to smother the breath of the connected heart
Creating a void, leaving barren life's O' so colourful art
Hiding him from evil eyes, venomous words, and prying folks
Striving to save him from untimely end with loving strokes
Alas! So strong were the clutches of impending death 
That the sweet tiny soul struggled with suffocating breath
Negligence, indifference, venom, filth and grime
Killed by the ruthlessness of love, life and time
Death by suffocation is not what I would verify
Murder O' so foul is what I would vehemently cry
Wrath of abhorrence was what he couldn't have survived
Lovingly Christened "MOTTU", Lonesome and Reviled... He DIED!!

When Love Begins...

 "When Love Begins" is an expression of finding love with the right person... 

A love that represents a lifetime of knowing one another... A love very few experience in their short time together... Dedication to a friend who helped me find love...

I always hoped such love would find me someday
Never knew it would be you headed my way
Your expression of love took me by surprise
Love the way you stop the tears flowing from my eyes

Our relationship is a surely a beautiful gift from above
Packaged with intellect, humor, understanding, trust and love

Flaws are inevitable, but in you perfection is all I see

No ones perfect, its about seeing an imperfect person perfectly

Your laughter to your anger, I still love the little things you do
Hearing you laugh, seeing your lips curve the way I love them to
It's been hard at times but I guess we'll make it through

On this journey together, I believe there's nothing that we can't do

What we have seems too good to be true
Scared to get my heart broken, all over again losing you
In the end, I just have to trust us and in what I believe
If my love is true, in return two fold I shall receive

Where your treasure is, your heart also goes
What tomorrow may bring, neither of us knows
All I know and understand is the special bond we alone share
Times of love and laughter that my heart treasures are just so rare

There is no need to prove our feelings to know they're true
My past doesn't come close to the experience I share with you
I've had the experience of being in relationships before
This is something that doesn't leave me wanting for more

It's an honor to know that I am yours, as you are mine

I thank my stars for this loving and beautiful time
For now, I am just waiting patiently for the day we'll be together
The precious moment when we'll commit forever

Loving you has been as beautiful as a fluttering butterfly

Wish it stays the same, as we see our times together fly 

Life is just everything beautiful, precious and new
Just as beautiful and precious as the moments you said "I Love You"

Disclaimer: The expressions in this poem hold no connections or references to personal lives of the author or anyone else. They are just a figment of the authors creative imagination.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6-8Tv3YWxRM&feature=related

Solitude... {4}

Wishing...

...I could take away our lonely nights.
...We could find the peace within and with each other.
...I could go on without craving to hold you tight.
...We could wipe our tears, and hold our hearts together.
...I could clear out our thoughts and never fight.
...We could wipe our fears and hold our souls together.

Wondering...

...If we would ever stop tearing each other' souls this way.
...If we would now ever let anyone see the real us any day.
...If I will ever be able to hold you, YOU, the one I love.
...If there ever will YOU who will hold me and give me love.
...If you are real or were just a vision I see again and again.
...If we would be close enough to behold one another ever again.

Solitude... {3}

Contemplating...

The wind brings a chill that pierces my heart

Tears flow as I am craving for the warmth of your arms

Lying in bed, thought's of you spinning in my head

Thinking you may never love me after what I did

For me I realize, all we shared is all that matters

Apologizing to you for all the pain, leaving aside all other matters.

The times we spent together were magical in all senses

Your eyes still remind me of the love that broke our fences

Lovingly whispered nickname rings in my ears

Beautiful curve of your lips making me smile, driving away all fears

Miss you, Yes I do, the caring, loving, understanding YOU 

These are such times, that I can only wish for and dream about YOU. 

Seems to me as if I have sinned to have loved you

For wanting you to love me back the way I loved you

Served me right as always to lose the one I loved, I did

You swore never to hurt, you didn't, just broke me, you did

Still waiting for a sign of love to come my way under the lonely skies

To feel your touch, bask in your look, and revel your kiss when I close my eyes.

In my moments of solitude, these thoughts often crowd my mind

And I end up asking myself these questions time after time

What's so evasive in love that I always fail to find 

Why is it that a broken heart, a torn soul are all forever mine

As I begin to withdraw into the dark shell of my life

I continue to ask myself, how love finds all but forever evades to be mine.

Solitude... {2}

Introspecting...

Its been a while since you went your way

Still think of you every moment of every day

Every word, every look is etched in my heart

Every moment, every thought burns in my soul

Closing my eyes to erase the memories all day

Just fooling myself by trying to keep them away.

Your exit from my world has left it barren

Smiles have faded and nothing seems wanton

Your thoughts make me even more lonesome

Every moment wants me to find a reason

Why I'm unable to let you go, you unwilling to be back

Where do I go, and what can I do I to get us back.

Life has just become a confusing whirl of thoughts

More I try to forget, more you return to my thoughts

Sitting here staring at the stars, just thinking of you

Feeling bereft, unloved, loneliness around me instead of you

Laying awake under dark skies I stare into the night

Loneliness and fear surround me, like the life's demons I fight.

Beautiful memories have become shadows of our times together 

Gnawing at my mind are images of our last moments together

A mesh of deep despair, anger, hurt, broken trust, and silent sighs

Indifference and hatred from you still stifling my cries

Visions of you tear my soul, just as tears of hurt flow unbridled

And flashing in my eyes, is the pain of your heart, equally mirrored.

Love you, I did, asking for love, trust and nothing much

Lust for me, You did, leaving nothing that you didn't quite touch

Emotions for you still break the dams of my heart 

Knowing not how to get us back to the start

Tears of love, hurt and pain run down my cheek

Arms craving to hold you, YOU, the one I seek.

Solitude... {1}

Sometimes we tend to love people who find it impossible to love us back... For a long time, we continue to feel to be a part of something bigger than ourselves, and suddenly after the intense togetherness we are left lonesome, forlorn, friendless... And loneliness is overwhelming!! Here are a series of poems (one poem split into four parts) written in mirrored times, modified a bit and presented here.

Asking...

How can one just snap and make the person they want gone, disappear?

How can one find a way through without shedding a tear?
How can one hate a person they once held in their arms, close and dear?
How can one find their love, get them to love you back and always hold near?

How can one live as if nothing ever was between the two?

How can one not see the love one has, and feel the pain they do?

How can one simply walk away saying they never ever loved you?

How can one not live life the way they want to, with whom they want to?

How can one say they love someone, and not want to be with them forever?

How can one want love, leave them lonesome, bereft and hurting forever?

Searching...

Living life with a broken heart, and shredded soul 

Seems like trying to collect pieces of shattered glass 

A mirror of happiness, broken beyond repair

Knowing well it never will get over the despair

Each fragment stabbing my heart, piercing my soul

Mirroring my loveless life's gaping hole

Gathering them up now seems too scary

Piecing them together equally unworthy

No matter how well we stick it together 

We never get the whole closer together

Searching for answers for what seems like a lifetime

Wondering who holds the answers to them, will it be time?

इंतज़ार

ये शेर नीचे से ऊपर पढ़े जाएँ तो एक कड़ी सी बनती नज़र आयेगी... :)

उन्हे नहीं है गुमान के वोह हमारे कितने करीब हैं...

जी रहे हैं हम के वोह हमें अपनी साँसों से भी अज़ीज़ हैं...
जिस्म हैं दूर, पर दिलों में हर पल है एक कसक उठा करती ...
तूफानों के बीच भी उस साहिल पर ही है नज़र हमारी थमा करती...

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महफ़िल खूब सजी है, पर कुछ अर्ज करने की अब ख्वाइश न रही ...
लफ्ज़ लबों पर थम गए, उल्फत-ए-दिल-ए-कास्ता सुपुर्द-ए-ख़ाक हो रही ...
कर आब-ए-चश्म की हसरत-ए-दीदार को इस दिल में दफन ...
नफ्स-ए-जिस्म है, पर सिसकते हुए अब रूह-ए-मोहब्बत है दम तोड़ रही ... 

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जिंदगी गुनगुनाती मुस्कुराती आती है, हज़ारों सपने मुरादें लिए...
एक सौंधी सी झलक दिखा चली जाती है, पलकों पर यादों की बूँदें दिए...



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तुमसे दूर जाने का हमारा कोई इरादा ना था...
सदा साथ देने का तुमसे एक वादा ही चाहा था...
तुम याद न करोगे हमें यह जानते थे हम...
पर भुला दोगे इतनी जल्द इसका अंदाजा ही ना था...

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मेरे दिल को यूँ जलाना, तेरा ईमान हो शायद...

मेरी तरह तेरे सीने में भी कोई तूफ़ान हो शायद...
आजमा न तू मुझे इतना, आह भी न हो और दम निकल जाए...
तेरे वजूद की तरह कहीं मेरे वजूद में, तेरी भी जान हो शायद...

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कहते हैं के इन्तेज़ार की कोई हद्द नहीं होती...
कहते हैं के खुशियाँ दायरों में कैद नहीं होती...

हद्द और दायरों से उबर कर देख ए काफिर...

के बेपनाह मोहब्बत की कोई सरहद नहीं होती...

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वो ले कर अपने हाथों में खंजर, हमसे मोहब्बत का इज़हार करते रहे...

मदहोश हो हम भी आँखें मूंदे, उनके लफ़्ज़ों पर ऐतबार करते रहे...

रोज हुआ उनसे क़त्ल हमारा, फिर भी हम दिल-ओ-जान निसार करते रहे...

सुर्ख हैं आँखें, सूखे हैं अश्क, ना जाने क्यों फिर भी उनसे उल्फत-ए-इकरार करते रहे...
टूटा है यह दिल, चूर है यकीन, न जाने फिर भी उनके आने का इन्तेज़ार करते रहे...


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The RED Dot !!

MALE OR A FEMALE FOETUS…?? Who holds RESPONSIBILITY??

Ethically, NO ONE!!      Religiously, NO ONE!!      Morally, NO ONE!!      

                     Biologically, Yes, THE FATHER!!

But most certainly, NOT THE UNBORN!!

Mind has been in a whirl for as long as I remember over the issue of female foeticide and had expressed my desire to write my views on it to a friend a couple of months back in tandem with his thoughts on the issue… Sadly, it never saw the light of the day but here I am jotting down my thoughts and views on the issue…  As they continue to flow in …

Aamir Khan’s सत्यमेव जयते or Truth Prevails, aired on prime time television created a much anticipated furor over the matter as Marketers would put it… But, did it actually reach the deep crevices of the Indian "Mind Space" where the basic view against the female species takes roots?? A zone where a female is considered a burden one way or other?? A level where she is seen only as an object of desire, not a living individual with a heart, mind and soul of her own??

Today, the media is abuzz over the issue… who are these people on the Social or Mass media?? Educated men and women, right?? I dare to ask most of them how they treat the woman in their lives – mothers, sisters, girlfriends, wives, daughters? Haven’t they abused or ill-treated the women in their lives for one reason or other, expecting them to understand and accommodate and adjust for whatever perspectives they themselves see lives as, wanting them to conform to norms, shut out their own minds and stop thinking individualistically?? Have they ever voiced their opinion when they see anyone close to them being ill-treated or whipped around??

It’s really sad to know that in a country where women are worshiped in form of goddesses and the country itself being referred to as a Motherland such heinous crimes have been prevalent for centuries. Female foeticide has been a blazing issue for almost forever but why does it so happen that it takes a person like Aamir to rattle our brains about it??? And even after that how many are actually doing something to address the issue in the origin of its core…??

One has to realize that the skewed gender statistics in India today are not something that have emerged all of a sudden but are a gory result of generations of fixed thinking and basic intent towards females. Men alone can’t be held responsible for fuelling the desire for a male child, its onus lies equally if not more on women in the Indian society who have been brought up to think of themselves as burdens or hand changing objects ever since time immemorial.

Female Foeticide - the gory result of various desires ranging from the desire for a male heir to dowry expectations to responsibility of protecting her from prying male eyes at every juncture to ever rising marriage expenses as she grew up. We will save her in the womb now, but what when she is born?? What when she needs protection at every stage in life from prying male eyes ready to rape her at any age or time? What of the life after she gets married? Who will save her from the lesser known more complex form of Marital Rape? What’s thought provoking, is just not killing a female in the womb of her mother, but killing a female just when she takes her first breath, at every juncture of her life, physically, emotionally or mentally, treating her no less than an object, a property, or still worse... a doormat.

Thought provoking programs on mass media create a sizzle about women or doing something for their benefit, before, during and after birth, throughout their lives, looks good from the marketing perspective and to create a buzz amongst the educated class or people who see and understand the actual perspective of the issue…

How many of the people actually resorting to such forms of torture actually saw the program? If, they did, how many actually understood the implications of the same? Even if they could grasp 3% of what was mentioned therein, how many actually got down to implementing it in their own homes??

How do you deal with the masses who still relate to and emulate the “Saas-Bahu” serials being aired on Television?

What of masses where one woman is shared by more than two men in the family, just because they haven’t been able to find individual brides for themselves?

What of the masses for whom women are ones to have sex with, impregnate, force her to undergo abortions knowingly or unknowingly, kill the girl child post birth, force her into endless pregnancies in desire for a male child, blame her for anything and everything… ??

Who educates them on the greater perils of the skewed ratios which as of now are huge but will go on to take gigantic proportions if not dealt with down at the ground level?

Has anyone ever recorded the statistics of cases that go unreported per year for crimes of Wife beating, Mental torture, Rape, Marital Rape? In such cases what happens to the law that advocates that any woman residing under a man's shelter be it - Mother, Sister, Daughter, Wife, or a live-in partner - be entitled to file a complain and a case against the man for mental or physical abuse? 

Where does law and the judicial system vanish when she actually stands in court trying to defend herself for mental torture? Why is her statement not enough and she has to run from pillar to post to try and prove an intangible happening in her life? Aren't the men sitting there torturing her already tortured soul??

Sadly, are there enough laws governing the same? If there are any, who ensures that they are taking effect where and when required, because as far as I understand the Indian society, who brings such crime to notice – the mother of the unborn child or the just aborted foetus?? THINK!! The family inflicting or forcing such an act certainly wouldn't!!

People have taken laws into their hands to ill-treat and destroy the “Female” at every juncture, Now…

Who takes law into their hands to respect the soul of a woman? 

Who takes law into their hands to bring justice to the Female? 

Who takes actions to bring justice to the UNBORN?? 

Women in India are depicted by “The RED Dot” and needless to forget that the colour red stands for nothing but the colour of BLOOD… It’s the colour of VIBRANCY, LOVE, PASSION, POWER, STRUGGLE, FIGHT, VIOLENCE and DANGER, … never ever of SUBMISSION!!

Women have been taking in a lot of flak and torture for centuries without actually hitting it out. Just a reminder... 

…Lest the society forgets or fails to realize … Being quiet is most certainly not a sign of submission or acceptance of what’s happening… I’d rather read it as the “Lull before the Storm” that lurks somewhere with the depths of her soul… Waiting to create a Whirl and Destroy!! 

एक एहसास सा...

अनजान था वोह शख्स जो मिला इन राहों में...

लम्हा दर लम्हा हुआ वोह कुछ जाना पहचाना सा...

चला वोह संग इन राहों पर बन एक हमकदम...

लम्हा दर लम्हा एक रहगुजर लगा हमसफ़र सा ...

खूबसूरत थे वोह पल जो संग गुज़ारे थे हमने...

ख्वाबों में भी लगता है वोह एक हकीकत सा ...

चंद दिनों में नजदीकियां दूरियां हुई हैं अब उनसे...

फिर भी निगाहें बंद करूँ तो लगता है साथ उनका करीब सा...

चले आये हैं दूर उनसे उनही की बात का मान रख...

फिर भी हर धड़कन को है उनके बुलावे का इंतज़ार सा ...

न कोई गिला है, न है शिकवा शिकायत कोई उनसे...

है तो सिर्फ हम पर ऐतबार न करने का दिल में एक गहरा गम सा ...

खुशियों और सुकून के लिए उनकी जो किया हमने...

उस दास्ताँ को न सुनने, न ऐतबार करने का है हमें हुज्न्ल सा ...

बैठे हैं मीलों दूर उनसे, पर ख़याल उस चार दीवारी में कैद हैं...

हमारा न होते हुए भी जो लगता है हमें मोहब्बत का एक आशियाँ सा...

मर्ज़-उल-मौत का इल्म होते हुए भी छोड़ आये हैं तनहा उन्हे... 

करीब नहीं हैं वोह अब, पर इस दिल में रहेगा हमेशा उनके लिए एक घरोंदा सा...

दुआ करेंगे हमेशा उनकी सलामती की और हर पल हर कदम इन्तेज़ार भी...

करीब नहीं है हम अब, पर छोड़ आये हैं उनके दर अपना एक एहसास सा...

उनका यहाँ एक एहसास सा ... हमारा वहाँ एक एहसास सा...

कुछ एहसास...

सिले हुए हैं लब और लफ्ज़ हमारे कैद हैं...

झुकी हुई हैं निगाहें और अश्क हमारे कैद हैं...

जज़्बातों का ज़लज़ला सा है दोनों के जेहन में ...

इबारत क्या करें वोह जो खुद ही में सिमटे कैद हैं...

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जाने कैसे किसी पे कभी ऐतबार हो जाता है...

अनजाने में कोई अजनबी खास हो जाता है...

खूबियों से ही नहीं होती मोहब्बत सदा..

अक्सर कमियों से भी बे-इन्तेहाँ प्यार हो जाता है...

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गुज़रती है जब पेड़ की शाखों से सरसराती हलकी सर्द हवा...

हौले से कहती है आ चल ले चलूँ संग तुझे उनकी बाहों की ओर...

मन मचल तारों से घिरे चाँद की ओर देख सोचता है...

परछाईं देखी थी रोज उनकी, आज हवा संग रुख है उनकी ओर...